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December 2008
Gratitude: The First of Osho's 4 Keys to Happiness
by Anando
Last time we looked at why the mind can be pleased, but not happy. We saw that pleasure comes from external sources, and so is dependant on things or people being a certain way. As soon as things change, or we grow weary of them (which happens faster than we can imagine) the pleasure goes. So it is temporary, because the mind is always looking for new stimulus, new excitement.
Happiness is different - it comes from inside us (you can call it your heart space) and arises when there is no desire for anything, just a gratitude for what is. Then it is not a temporary state, because as long as you have gratitude, you have happiness.
The mystic Osho explained the science of happiness almost 50 years ago. Modern neuro-scientists, after spending a few million dollars, have reached many of the same conclusions, and a whole new breed of 'happiness' gurus has sprung up to teach the art of being happy. Unfortunately most of them miss the difference between the mind and the heart, so although they propound many of the same 'keys,' they don't explain that they only work when they are genuinely felt in the heart. These keys do NOT work when they are something 'done' by your mind.
This week we'll look at my personal favorite 'key' from Osho - gratitude.
| "The feeling of gratefulness can arise only if we become aware of what existence is giving us. We have nothing to give in return, hence we feel deep gratitude. We are not worthy of it all, we don't deserve it. Still the flowers bloom, still the sun rises, still the moon comes, and the stars.... Still existence goes on giving, whether we take any note of it or not." Osho |
Key 1: Gratitude
The other day I was driving in my car to go somewhere I really didn't want to go. I was grumbling away in my mind, feeling frustrated that I had let myself be pressured into this situation, and generally feeling pissed off about the whole thing.
Suddenly I realized what I was doing, and reminded myself how lucky I was to be living the life I am. In that moment I looked out the car window and saw the sun shining and the beautiful nature I was driving through. I hadn't seen it before because I was so busy with my internal dialogue of complaining and feeling sorry for myself. It quite literally took my breath away - a huge sigh of contentment welled up from deep inside.
And with that breath came an immense gratitude. Gratitude that I was alive, that such beautiful nature was all around, gratitude for the crickets singing (I hadn't even heard them til that moment), gratitude for all the gifts existence has showered on me and continues to shower. Immediately all the complains and mind-fuck disappeared and I felt flooded with well-being. Immediately! And I had a good laugh about my unconscious mind.
It had been a momentary lapse, because normally I do feel an incredible gratitude, each day, for how existence takes such wonderful care of me. But this lapse reminded me also of how much my life has changed. It used to be my way of life - complaining, judging, blaming, feeling unfairly treated, disrespected - you know, all the usual rubbish that the mind loves to chew on. Osho is absolutely right when he says that a complaining mind is never at peace.
It is actually through Osho that I came to understand that our attitude towards life is a choice, and whether we choose gratitude or complaint, that is exactly what life will reflect back to us.
Gratitude is an experience of the heart, not words in the mind.
Gratitude sounds easy - we have all learned to say 'thank you', but the gratitude that gives rise to happiness does not come from words. It is a feeling that arises in the heart, for no particular reason, just for the fact that a bird is singing or the sun has risen, or you are enjoying the feeling of being alive.
It is not so easy to savor such moments because we are utterly identified with our minds, and the mind cannot help itself but see what is wrong. It cannot help itself but complain and blame, it always wants things to be different.
But we have another aspect of our being that we rarely are aware of - our hearts. I am not talking about the emotional, sentimental heart. Our emotions and sentiments are triggered by thoughts, so they actually belong to the realm of the mind, not the heart. The heart I am talking about is a very peaceful space inside, which is always there.
It is the space we were born with that just says 'Yes' to life, 'Yes' to whatever is there (if you hadn't that space you would not have survived birth). And because it accepts whatever life brings, it can also see the beauty in any situation. Because it is not interested in desires, it can enjoy what is already there all around us.
Most of us lost touch with that space a very long time ago, because we were taught to pay more attention to words than to feelings. But that space is still there inside you, just waiting for you to remember that you are actually more than your thoughts.
How to access that long-lost space of the heart?
You can start by moving your attention to the very center of your chest, between your armpits. That's where your energetic heart is, as distinct from your physical heart. To help you have your awareness there, you can put a hand there, and you can also feel that your breathing is touching that place from the inside. Nothing special to do, just breathing gently and easily... And it helps to listen to music specially designed to touch the heart, such as Compassion, Prayer to the Mystery, or Spiritual Healing.
Take your time. Your mind will keep trying to pull your attention somewhere else, giving you all kinds of other things to think about. When you notice that, just keep bringing your attention back to the center of your chest. This is very boring for the mind, and after some time and practice it will get so bored it will give up. Then you will feel yourself dropping into a deeper peaceful space inside. From that space it is easy to reflect on all the things around you to be grateful for.
You can start with your body - are you aware of what a miracle it is, working for you day and night, keeping the blood and oxygen circulating, taking care of a hundred and one complex matters so you can keep on living. You eat some food and the stomach digests it... such an incredible miracle...
Check with yourself - are you friendly to your body? (ahem... just remember back to the last time you saw yourself naked in the mirror and remember the comments you made inside about yourself). Do you listen to your body's messages? Do you love it? If not, maybe it is time to get better acquainted with it, and to start appreciating it. Because I tell you a secret - if you don't love your own body, you can never really love another person's body, not totally. And you will never allow another person to be totally intimate with you, because you will always be afraid they will come up with the same criticisms that you have.
| Note: If you would like to learn how to appreciate your body more, get the Osho 'Body Mind Balancing' book, published by St. Martins Press, which has a guided meditation CD in the back to help you become more friendly with your body and learn to listen to its messages. |
If you can become aware of what a wonderful mechanism your body actually is, you will automatically start to feel a gratitude arising. It is the same with nature - isn't the sun amazing - we would not be alive without it. If you look around, you will see that nature is full of miracles, including you.
And everything in nature is unique - each blade of grass, each cloud in the sky, each eyeball, each fingerprint. In the billions of people on this planet, you are unique. This is a scientific fact, not new age bullshit. There has never existed anyone else exactly like you, and there never will. You, as you are, are a perfectly unique creation of existence, or whatever you want to call it. If you can really take that in, you cannot help but feel gratitude arising.
Gratitude is a feeling, not a thought.
True gratitude does not come from just making a mental list of things to be grateful for - that will only give you a temporary glow. (This is one of the areas where I am in fundamental disagreement with happiness gurus). It is a question of genuinely feeling a sense of gratitude, which can only be felt in the heart.
Once you get the knack of feeling gratitude, then you can start allowing that feeling to be more and more present in your body. It will become easier and easier, because it feels so good. The mind will of course keep focusing on what is going wrong all around you, so you need to give this some special attention in your life.
One thing you can do: every evening, when you are lying down on your bed just before going to sleep, think back over the day and remember some of the things to be grateful for - they are usually small things like having a piss when your bladder is bursting, or drinking water when you are thirsty or watching any innocent child or animal playing. Find one thing, and imagine that you are stepping right back into that moment again. Feel again the feeling in your body and behind your face, which you may not even have been aware of at the time. And allow that feeling to grow - feel that with each breath that feeling is expanding more and more throughout your body, until it has touched every cell. Then go to sleep with that.
And maybe you can try one whole day (aiyeeeee) without complaining - just to see how that is. And let me know what happens!
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Anando is one of the ASHA Foundation (UK) list of 240 'influential, inspiring women from all walks of life and from around the world who are outstanding in their fields.'
She was a successful lawyer (USA & Australia) and businesswoman who headed to India in the mid-seventies for a 2-week visit to the infamous ashram of Osho. She stayed for thirty years, becoming part of Osho's personal household. She now travels the world, teaching meditation and other techniques for transforming your life. Her book 'YES' is available through her Web site: www.lifetrainings.com |
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