We all have old wounds, buried deep in our unconscious. They are the wounds created when as a child we learned that we were not good enough as we are, that we had to be better or try harder to be loved and accepted and respected. It happened so long ago that we may have forgotten, and anyway most of us found our own way to cover them up well, but whenever we are in vulnerable or insecure situations, those old ideas are triggered, and we find ourselves with emotional or energetic reactions which just seem to take us over.
Available in both English and Italian versions on this album (separate tracks).
Check if this storyline sounds familiar…
Every time you want to go for the man or woman you are really attracted to, the job you would love to do, the dream you have been forever putting off, a little voice in your head says ‘You can’t do it, you’re not interesting enough, not attractive enough, not courageous enough, not as good as others.’ Some limiting belief like that, which is always lurking in the back of our minds whether we are aware of it or not, makes us constantly judge and doubt ourselves, and make us hesitate to go for what we want, or put pressure on us to try harder, to be better. We were not born with these negative ideas. Do you really think you popped out of your mother’s womb and immediately felt ‘Omigod, I’m not good enough as I am’?
So where on earth did they come from? During our most formative years, most of us knew what it felt like to have been on the receiving end of judgments, from our teachers, our peers, and from within our own families. And well-meaning though they might have been, these pressures to be or become something we were not, profoundly affected us whether we liked it or not. The causes themselves may have disappeared long ago, but the scars still exist. Scars from feeling abandoned or emotionally deprived, from being ridiculed or shamed, from being pressured, directly or indirectly, to perform better. And the fear and shock still exist, stored in the body’s memory.
Together, the old beliefs and wounds result in an underlying lack of self respect, of self love. We can cover these up with a special personality or with our achievements, but unfortunately, if deep inside we don’t love really ourselves as we are, imperfect and all, we cannot really love anyone else. And we will not allow anyone else to love us or get too close to us, not really. We will let them get only so close, but no closer, in case they discover that we are not as great as we seem.
So, how can we become free from the tyranny of these old beliefs? A first step is to become aware of the limiting beliefs you are carrying about yourself – to dig them all out of your unconscious and acknowledge that yes, these are the recorded messages of self-judgment and fear that keep replaying in my head. That already starts to take some of their charge away, because their power over you comes from your allowing them to run unconsciously, hidden.
Looking at them consciously and clearly, you should be able to recognize that these are the beliefs you picked up as a child. And you will become aware that no matter how grown up you think you are, inside, that child you once were is still unconsciously there. Affecting your behavior. Informing your choices. Motivating your life. Acknowledging and understanding this child inside is the beginning of self love, self respect. It is also the beginning of a more authentic and compassionate life, because this child holds the keys to so much that is missing in your life today, including love and intimacy. If you can start to give that child the respect and acceptance and yes the love, that it is desperately looking for, then you won’t have to be a beggar for these things from others any more. And let’s face it, you are the only person who can take care of that child and help him or her to relax and feel OK, because you are the only one who really understands them. And remember, if you don’t give this to your child, no-one else can! You will be searching for ever for the right person to take care of you in the way that you need. And unfortunately, no-one else can replace your mother or father.
Taking care of your own child needs for respect and love gives you the opportunity to see that those old unconscious and painful beliefs are no longer relevant in your life today. That will in turn allow you to move on and see how it is to live life from a different perspective. Try it! Start with Anando’s Healing the Inner Child. You have nothing to lose but your lack of self respect.