OK, so far we’ve looked at the first 2 keys of Osho’s unique take on happiness – gratitude and friendliness. Here are the other 2 keys, once again familiar words but with a twist in the meaning.
Compassion – the 3rd Key
Compassion, in Osho’s sense, is not pity. Pity is a kind of moral concept where we actually feel bigger or better than the person we are feeling sorry for. It is rather arrogant if you really think about it – who are we to feel pity for someone? Have you ever thought that when you feel like that you are actually reducing them and in the process taking away their dignity…
Anyway, Osho talks about two aspects of compassion. The first is accepting people as they are, without trying to change them. Aaaah… not so easy huh? Much easier to want to help someone to change / be better, and we always justify it to ourselves that it is for their own good. But is it really? Don’t they have the right to live their life how they choose, even if it is unconsciously? Are you perfect, anyway?
Maybe first it is better to start with some compassion for your own defects, your own weaknesses… and if you manage to accept yourself as you are, imperfect and all, then you will be able to do the same for others.
The second thing I have heard Osho say about compassion is that if we can look at people with the understanding that one day they will be dead, that maybe tomorrow we will never see this person again, then compassion automatically arises in our heart. As I said before, this is not about feeling sorry for them – that is an idea which arises in the mind. The pity feeling is triggered by thoughts about how sad the other person’s situation is, and that’s why it leads to thoughts about trying to help them, or their situation, change.
No, compassion which arises from the heart is a completely different feeling. It comes from an inner understanding that we are all helpless in the face of life and death, that there are things that are much bigger than us, beyond even the control of the biggest control freak, and in that respect we are all the same.
Try it out. Look around at people with the idea that by the evening they may be dead. On some evening everyone will be dead anyway, one day we will all be gone including you!
Normally when we look at people we see things that trigger our criticism rather than our compassion – do you recognize that? That is how the mind works, it can’t help itself. But if you remember that life is so short – if you think about the whole of eternity, then the time you are in this particular physical body is very fleeting, so what is the point of wasting it by judging and criticizing and trying to change people.
Instead see if you can feel how everyone, even the worst asshole, is just looking for more love, more respect or more acceptance in their lives. That’s all people want. Try looking for the longing that is there in everyone, underneath their unconscious ugly acts, and you will immediately be in touch with your heart. And then notice the difference in how you feel inside – feel the happiness that is bubbling up.
Cheerfulness – the 4th Key
Sadness is just a habit that we have formed – do you think that you were born sad, that you just popped out of your mothers womb and immediately felt sad? No, it is something we learned. Maybe we had a sad parent, and we unconsciously learned that if we are also sad we get attention. Or maybe we were told that it is not OK to run around and be happy when so many people are suffering… anyway, it is a habit we acquired when we were very young and have never stopped to ask ourselves whether we really need to be so pessimistic about life.
Osho says that cheerfulness is also a habit you can form. It is just a question of changing your perspective, your attitude towards life and whatever it brings. Sure it is not always rosy, but we can choose to see the problems (easy for us because this is the unconscious mind’s favorite preoccupation) or we can make a conscious effort to see what is satisfying in this moment – and there is always something if we have the right eyes.
Those right eyes, the eyes which see the glass as half full rather than half empty, only come from the heart, not the mind. So you need to practice the techniques I talked about in the earlier columns to connect more to your heart. Then you will see that there are actually two days between one night. The mind which wants to be unhappy will see that there are two nights between one day. It is up to you.
But if you are interested in the spiritual journey, then Osho says cheerfulness is essential: "If you enter meditation with a burdened mind you have tied stones to the arrow – then how far will it go? The faster you want to go, the more carefree and light your mind needs to be. The biggest burden is your misery, your sadness. Drop this burden and say yes to joy. Let your life become a song."
Try it out – use your imagination to help you change your perspective… Anyway your old perspective is also just your imaginative perception of life.
Whenever you notice you are in an old pattern, an old rut of seeing things in a negative way that makes you feel sad, burdened, immediately catch yourself, breath into your heart, and look with different eyes. For example, instead of feeling that you have to be on guard against people, suspicious and untrusting, try imagining that everyone likes you and wants the best for you. I realize this sounds naive, and it doesn’t mean that you have to invite complete strangers into your home, just try it out in your mind, as an attitude, and notice what changes inside you. It should make you more relaxed, and yes, you will feel that happiness bubbling up inside!
It really helps me to remember that life has no meaning on its own, it all depends on how I look at it. If I look for the joy in any moment, I feel joyful. If you look for the beauty in people, then your own beauty will develop. If you look for the things that make your heart sing, you have found the keys to happiness.
